| Where has October gone? It feels like it just began, yet at
the same time it feels like ages ago that I went to Provincetown (which
took place in the first week of this month). -- My
father just came over and said, "At this time next week we'll have seen
the Breeders' Cup." He then messed up my hair, and then wandered
off to go to bed. It's true. This Thursday I'll be leaving
to drive to Kentucky with my father where we'll stay for the next three
days. A vacation of horse-related activities. First we'll
probably visit horse farms in and around Lexington, where we'll be
staying, and then we'll travel to Louisville, which is the home of
Churchill Downs where the event is held this year. I look forward
to the racing and the horses, but three straight days of spending time
alone with my father is another story. If I remember correctly,
when we went on a nearly identical trip in 2000, there was at least one
gigantic meltdown. Still, in retrospect, I think I have favorable
impressions of that trip. There's also the issue of my
allergy. Yeah, remember? the horse allergy. I think last
time we got some prescription shit for me to take when visiting horse
farms, but there won't be any of that this time, mostly because I'm
lazy. Also, I don't care nearly as much as I did when I was
13--or rather, I'm not as easily amazed, partly because I've seen
it all before. Back then I was just in awe of the whole
experience. I got to see my favorite racehorse of the time (Skip
Away), who had just begun his career as a stallion. The people at
the farm were pretty cool about stuff and gave us a short tour of the
place. I got to pet Skip Away and the manager of the farm gave me
part of his mane. Following that, he showed us where the horses
were bred (aka where Skip Away got it on with the mares whose owners
paid $15,000 for them to have sex with him) and gave us far too many
details about the process. Great quote: "Skip
Away likes to bite while he's doing it." It was all a big
dream come true for little, naive 13-year-old me. I won't
bore you with more horse-related nonsense, but I will say that I'm
pretty psyched about this trip. Everything with my father aside,
it'll be an exciting trip for the both of us, and I can allow that to
outweigh anything else that might transpire. -- Tonight at
Holsten's, not only did I sit at the counter with Cassandra, but I also
got a new flavor. No coffee chip for me this time. Not only
did I stray from my usual, but I ordered a flavor off the specials
list. Cinnamon. Go me. I've got to say, it was
nothing short of amazing--like cinnamon sugar in the form of ice cream. -- So
yes, I'm in Nutley at the moment. I took the bus home on Friday
afternoon. There are a few reasons I'm here. First of all,
Diane begged me to come to the GSA Halloween Party with her (not
something I was really looking forward to doing, mind you). That
didn't come to pass, however, because she realized that since I no
longer attended the high school I wouldn't be allowed to come.
That turned out to not be true, but apparently it was lame anyway, so
it seems I didn't miss too much. Second, I wanted to visit Mrs.
Kozyra after her surgery, which was on Thursday. She seems to be
okay, but she also seems intent on being more active than she should
be. Not that I'm at all surprised by that, of course. Third,
I really wanted to spend some quality time with Cassandra. It's
funny, I do see her a lot, but it never feels like enough. She's
the main reason that I go to Nutley as often as I do. She really
better get accepted to an art school in the city because that would be
insanely amazing. And if Diane got into a music conservatory
there, too... yeah, that'd be pretty hot. They're both applying
to NYU, so we'll see what happens, but I not so secretly (somewhat pathetically) have
my fingers crossed. -- Speaking of Cassandra, this
Wednesday Jill and I are raiding the Humanities field trip to the
Cloisters, as we did last year. Neither of us have been in
contact with DDR at all since the beginning of the summer, but we're
mostly going to see Cassandra anyway. Also, we bought our tickets
for the Nutcracker on November 30 (and I think we'll be sitting
ridiculously close to the Humanities class if they sit in the same
place that they have the past two years). Maybe this time I can
avoid hearing about how Vitkovsky was beaten at his Catholic elementary
school. :-\ -- I think my grades this semester are going to
be pretty similar to the past two semesters, which is a problem.
I feel like I've gone from a solid "A" student in high school to a
solid "B" student at NYU. I know that has something to do with
the fact that I'm majoring in Math and that college is harder and all,
but it still doesn't sit well with me. I wanted to change things
this semester and I know I've tried harder, but I haven't seen as much
payoff as I would have liked so far. The difficulty level has
definitely risen and that's part of it, but that doesn't satisfy
me. I'll just have to continue making this transition in hopes
that the effects will gradually begin to show themselves. I
wanted to get my GPA back up around 3.5 by the end of this semester and
while that was never really a reasonable goal, I'm now sure that's not
going to happen, so I need to stop thinking about that. I just
have to focus on getting into a good routine of homework and
studying. The one I have going right now is working, but it could
still be improved. It's better than the non-routine I had last
semester, so I guess that's something to be proud of. Eh. I
know I'm not fucking up horribly or anything, but I still know I could
do much better than I am. And my parents will never forget to
remind me of it, of course. It annoys the hell out of me, but it
does help to motivate me to the slightest degree. -- Jill
and I are once again discussing getting an off-campus apartment next
semester. I would want that more than anything, because in all
hoensty, I don't trust myself to make a really close male friend (that
isn't a significant other) in the next few months. I mean, it
might happen, but I'm not relying on it. Still, my father has been adamant about this in the past, so I'm not getting my hopes up. -- My clock just clicked from 1:59 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. Oh, the magic of daylight savings time... -- There's nothing better than a song with an emotional impact that doesn't die over time. That's all. |
